I think these signs point towards me being a great spin bowler and possible international material…
1) I am a bit dumpy. We all know great spinners tend to be a bit fat, not morbidly obese but a bit chunky. Look at Warne, he had to resort to diet pills and Murali’s dad actually owns a sweet factory – I bet he loves going home for the weekend. Also my countryman Robert Croft is unlikely to starve any time soon. Mind you that Dwayne Leverock took the whole thing a bit far.
2) I can’t bat (see Phil Tufnell, Monty, BS Chandrasekhar, Bishan Bedi, Stuart MacGill, Danish Kaneria and their averages of under 10)
3) I can’t field (see Monty and Tuffers again)
4) I like to get pissed (see Tuffers and Warne again)
5) I like to smoke (see Tuffers and Warne)
6) There are precedents of relative oldies being plucked from obscurity and bowling spin for their country. Recently at the age of 35, Bryce McGain went from IT worker to professional cricketer also see the case of Douglas Carr a 37-year-old googly bowler who played in the 1909 ashes.