Big bats, small boundaries, slow wickets, big crowds. Ahoy it’s T20 time in India.
I don’t know how I feel about T20 – the ECB’s frankenformat. I watch it, I enjoy it, but am ultimately left feeling like I’ve had a big bash on public transport. A bit shifty, hoping the CCTV didn’t pick me up.
I also have theory that The BCCI are hatching a devious plan to destroy test cricket using T20.
Here are the facts.
First they create a franchise format that requires cheerleaders and DJ Otzi’s Hey Baby to be played whenever a slogging tailender is caught at short third man after a mistimed slash and somehow make it the envy of all world cricket boards, despite it only being viable in their own country.
Dispatch brainwashed double agent Pietersen to undermine things back to the UK until he is reset by Andy Flower.
Lose a home test series and prior to that, look like fat playboys on tour in England and Australia getting whitewashed.
They stitch up their great rival Alan Sanford in a huge set up global fraud.
The final part of the jigsaw happens now. They crush England’s team of young players turning the nation to the dark side for ever.
Or maybe I’ve drunk too much coffee.